He wants to stay together and I love him and care for him dearly but my heart and my rational mind are in conflict because I feel that it happens again and we are move involved I will get hurt more than the last time. Many recovering addicts have done things in the past that result in a criminal record, making it harder to get a job. But if you like knowing you're an emotional support system for someone and enjoy interdependence, you'll thrive in this relationship. What made you think of wondering about relapse at this point, are his behaviors slightly askew or you notice something different? Otherwise either path will be too difficult. If you are with someone who relapses it is a horrible road of lies and deceit because you love that person and want to believe them.
Addicts will need you as much, if not more, than you need them, and it's nice to know you're their source of happiness. I would certainly say after dating two drug addicts and a alcoholic, they are often weak in character or have a major flaw that appears to keep haunting them. Pro: Realistic expectations A major perk of dating someone with a checkered past is that they most likely won't judge you for yours. They lie, cheat, steal, do whatever it takes to manipulate their way through your life until you are wasted and spent. He was never abusive or rude to me he just sort of pushed me away to hang out alone and do drugs. The fact that he was not honest from early on is a red flag, right? His addiction received his financial support and his low life friends and drug dealers and crack whores got his emotional support. But beginning a serious relationship can be another substitute.
Came to the conclusion I didn't need the drama and abuse any more. As for questioning how mismatched you are. I have found it hard to relate to him as I've not ever struggled with addiction. He had stories of dropping acid and meeting bands and soon I was infatuated with him. You need to get away and find someone that is clean and sober, and will not need or want your money! The first 2 months he treated me like a queen.
Mistakes are mistakes until we learn from them. Yet, then he can smell it on my breath. Dating a recovering addict can be complicated, but most relationships are. The relationship is fueled by drama and intensity, not substance. This was one of the hardest lessons to learn.
I've been in a position that sounds very similar to yours. My husband soon to be ex; is skilled at rehab, therapy and manipulating people in general. Would you really have wanted someone so quick to judge and so quick to dismiss someone as awesome as you? As an addict's significant other, you take on that anxiety and worry. I begged, cried, threatened, you name it. You can't take anything they do personally. In a relationship with a recovering addict.
It is not meant to be a substitute for professional care. After a year being single, I met a wonderful guy, but he is in a recovering program and have been sober for more then a year. As soon as he settled into a stable relationship with me, with me supporting the both of us because most of his paycheck went to child support, he settled right back in the comfort of smoking his crack and I had to accept that he had relapsed. He is a master manipulator - I learned that quickly and didn't fall for all of his twisted lies. I love him unconditionally and completely.
I am in relationship with this guy for 7 years now. Over the course of 3 months I have fallen in love with him and he has said that he does not feel the same attraction to me, but loves me only as a friend. He is now sober one year as of last month. We had a trip planned to the coast for a weekend. As a chronic brain disease, the threat of relapse is ever-present — an estimated 40 to 60 percent of addicts relapse — and watching someone you love spiral out of control can be one of the most horrific experiences of your life. Somehow he cannot get out of his own way. Happily, another 3 years went by and it was perfect.
He admitted it right away and within 10 days was clean and sober and back at his meeting and going through the 12 steps again. First, the recovering addict should have at least one year of sobriety, and preferably many more. I am active in recovery in many ways, have a wonderful full life today and am blessed beyond anything I could have ever imagined, but to say I am not hurt would be a lie. If you do then you both need to communicate openly and find a compromise. He could not handle a relationship or any expectations on him.